Job Search

It eats out
your insides, the
job search does.
You spend all day thumbing
the want ads, preparing
the resume and writing the
cover letters, separate
cover letters because
form letters will be sniffed
out and interpreted to reflect
negatively back on the
job searcher.

No form cover letters
from job searchers, man.

Go ahead--take one
of those job search courses
and learn the rule from somebody
else: no form cover letters
to prospective employers.

Eat it, baby, eat it and learn
to like it, baby, it tastes
sweet--say it, baby:
it tastes sweet, sir,
it tastes sweet:
I know because I have experience, sir.

I love to say yes, yes, yes, to bosses
who ask me if I'm a "self starter,"
if I work well with people,
if I am career-minded.

Yes, yes, yes, sir, interpret
my "yes" in the broadest way you wish,
sir.

(Should I say "no" to these questions?
Why not ask me, if I know what you want
to hear, whether I'm a raving idiot,
sir? Then I'll say "no." Why, of course
I'm not a raving idiot, sir. After all,
I'm applying to your company, sir.)

Excuse me, sir? Oh, do I have salary requirements
sir. Why, my salary requirements happen to correspond
exactly to what you normally pay, sir.

(Yes, you can pay me enough to eat
mainly your shit from month to month and I'll
take it, sir,
I'll take it.)

Why, thank you, sir,
when do I start?

Job search, job search.

Self-starter with five years
experience and excellent inter-
personal skills. Send resume, cover
letter, and samples, and state
salary requirements.

State salary requirements.

Copy the resume, copy the
resume, copy the resume, copy
the resume, write the cover
letter, write the other
cover letter, write
the other cover letter,
write another cover
letter. Stuff the
envelope, stuff
the other envelope,
stuff the envelopes.

We are job searchers,
We are job searchers:
two, three, four hundred:
we need the job, that
single, perfect job.

We are self-starters, all
we are career-oriented, all
experienced, all
we love people, all.

(We have only the salary requirements
that you are willing to pay,
sir.)

We will devote our lives and hearts
to the firm,
sir;
we, the job searchers,
will lick your sweaty asshole
and smile afterwards, sir,
and there is a long line
of us, sir, clean shaven
but willing to grow mustaches
so that our dirty work is
better concealed.

We have experience,
sir.